"Gentlemen, I like BL" - Fujoshi Declares War on Earth

topIn Genshiken, Kanako Ohno once declared that "Homo-hating girls don't exist!!" While the validity of the statement could be contested, yaoi-loving females, otherwise know as fujoshi, have since used it to defend their hobby.

Last December, the main store of Toranoana used Kanako Ohno's quote in its "Fujoshi Festival," where Toranoana's female staffs had to take an oath (the event was to promoted the manga Fujoshi Kanojo, Tonari no 801-chan, and Moso Shojo Otaku Kei).

topSticking to the saying "New year, new atmosphere," now the main store of Toranoana has posted a new promotional speech titled "Gentlemen, I like BL, gentlemen, I love BL" on its elevator.

The lyrics of Toranoana's fight song are modified from the "I Love War" speech made by Hellsing's Major Montana Max (made at the end of volume 4). However, rather than sounding like a normal promotional song, the speech sounded more like an address made by the fujoshi army before its invasion of the earth.

Japanese version of the original Hellsing speech can be found here. Below is a translation of the "fujoshi version" of the speech:

Gentlemen, I like BL
Gentlemen, I love BL

I like Kichiku Megane¹
I like underage assaults
I like naughty assaults
I like gakuen monogatari²
I like riiman³
I like parallels
I like gachi muchi⁴
I like female clothing

In parks, in schools
In companies, on streets
In harems, in deserts
In darkness, in daylight

I love every aspect of boy's love that takes place on this earth

I like quickly shooting the customer with the cash register while packing up the merchandise
When new publications on the stand decrease at amazing speed, my heart dances

I like operating the computer and responding to customer inquiry quickly
When new books arrived at the cash register, my heart leapt

Gentlemen, I desire BL, BL that is like hell
Gentlemen, my companions in the battalion, who follow me
Gentlemen, what do you desire?

Do you desire BL as well?
Do you desire PC games and commercial magazines that strike the wallet with no mercy?
Do you desire doujinshi that stretch the limits of iron, wind, lightning and fire to the limit, one that will kill all the delusions on this planet?

"BL! BL! BL!"
Very well, they are on the 3rd, 4th floor

1) Kichiku Megane is a BL game made by Spray/Visual Art.
2) "Gakuen monogatari" means school stories.
3) "Riiman" a.k.a. "salaryman" is a Japanese term for a white-collar worker.
4) Gachi Muchi means "He's so buff!" in Japanese.


The original Japanese version:

諸君 私はBLが好きだ
諸君 私はBLが大好きだ


公園で 学内で
社内で 街中で
後宮で 砂漠で
暗闇で 白昼で




諸君 私はBLを地獄のようなBLを望んでいる
諸君 私に付き従う大隊戦友諸君

よろしい ならば3、4階だ

It is worth noting that the main shop of Toranoana is next door from the Animate shop, who also publishes BL products.

In Akihabara, Animate is the largest BL/fujoshi-moe store, while Gamers is the number one otaku-moe store. Toranoana created this battle song to drive sales.

All images taken from Akiba Blog
Special thanks to Ed from MangaCast on several cultural references

Source: Akiba Blog

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"I like parallels" could

"I like parallels"

could anyone clarify?

Not clear

Actually I have no idea what that parallel thing mean, I'm assuming it has something to do with the yaoi culture. Here's what Jen from Yaoisuki had to say about it:

The only thing that comes to mind is that it might be a synonym for reversi/reversible, characters that switch roles instead of having an always-designated uke and seme.

I still think it is parallel

I still think it is parallel universes. In a doujishi i bought from Takanaga Hinako she takes characters from her title The Tyrant Falls in Love and turns them into dog boys in the wild. She said in the atogaki (and on her website it was a parallel. Not being familiar with the pairing I dont know if what the traditional uke/seme pair would be but it sure wasnt the normal setting for those two characters out in the wilderness eating other animals running around with tails and animal ears.


Speaking of Taro Aso:

Taro Aso would despise George W. Bush.

Bush is a raging racist.

Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism (indicated in my blog).

And I do solemnly swear by Almighty God that Bush committed other hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism which I am not at liberty to mention.

Many people know what Bush did.

And many people will know what Bush did—even to the end of the world.

Bush was absolute evil.

Bush is now like a fugitive from justice.

Bush is a psychological prisoner.

In any case, Bush will go down in history in infamy.

Respectfully Submitted by Andrew Yu-Jen Wang, J.D. Candidate
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993

(I can type 90 words per minute. In only 7 days, posts basically like this post of mine have come into existence—all over the Internet (hundreds of copies). One can go to Google right now, type “George W. Bush committed hate crimes of epic proportions and with the stench of terrorism,” hit “Enter,” and find more than 550 copies indicating the content of this post. All in all, there are probably more than 2,000 copies on the Internet indicating the content of this post—it has, in a way, become headline news. One cannot be too dedicated when it comes to anti-Bush activities. As I looked back at my good computer work, I thought how fun and easy it was to do it.)

I am not sure where I had read it before, but anyway, it goes kind of like this: “If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Oh wait—off the top of my head—I think it came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.